| The irony is... |
[Oct. 31st, 2008|06:06 pm] |
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... if John McCain had switched parties like he contemplated a few years back and was running on the Democratic ticket, he'd probably be coasting to victory right now. |
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| Here's my newest theory: |
[Oct. 16th, 2008|12:41 am] |
The United States is fundamentally a republican country. Not the Republicans today. I mean republican: small government, free market, guns, etc. Democrats are the IT guys. They're the nerds that come in and fix the situation when the Republican machine has gone too far away from their republican ideals.
But while 'Revenge of the Nerds' was one of the best movies ever made, 'Revenge of the Nerds Part 2: Nerds in Paradise' was one of the worst. Why? We need nerds to come in and fix our problems. Stan and the rest of the Alpha Betas have abused their power and now they're corrupt. They're broken. Nerds come in and shake things up. They fix the problem. [Nerds Part 1] But nobody likes it when nerds are in charge and on top. [Nerds Part 2] People want to get back to when the Cool people are in charge.
Put another way, the cool a-holes from Animal House in 1978 got corrupt and became the evil (yet hilarious) Stan, Ogre and the rest of the Alpha Betas from Revenge of the Nerds in 1984. After the Nerds fixed things, we wanted the cool kids to have some fun again and there was a rejection of the nerds in 1994 with Jeremy Pivens' break-out hit PCU. That stretched for a while into 2003's Old School, but we all knew that at the end of the day, the title is right and that school of thought is old. This country needs a new Revenge of the Nerds. Ladies and Gentlemen, The P! Co. |
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| Some Open Letters |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|12:57 am] |
Dear store owners everywhere,
If you have double doors, why would you keep one locked? Do you enjoy watching people look foolish or do you just not care?
Dear Les Miles,
I don't care if you lose every other game this season, just beat those fuckers at Alabama.
Dear Dave and Rachel,
I wish I would have known that toasts were open. I would have prepared mine better. But I didn't break my first rule: keep it short.
Dear Bob and Erika,
I gotta see that kid. I've got a dirty trick up my sleeve. I won't bother you about it for about a year after that.
Dear Teresa,
Your ears are now the most appealing part of you.
Dear Republicans,
The worst part about you is that you're no longer Republicans.
Dear Democrats,
Try... just try not to take advantage of the situation.
Dear improv,
See you in a couple of weeks. This time apart will be good for us. I promise. And don't worry, I'll be faithful.
Dear Texans,
What the fuck is wrong with you that you walk down the center of the aisle in parking lots... even when you see bright-ass lights in front of you at night that weren't there before?
Dear Comedy,
I'm sorry what I'm doing to you with WWN, but it's a means to an end. I'll make it up to you.
Dear Rachel Maddow,
Even though we're on the same team right now, I think you're Keith's smug, annoying little sister and I hope you get the shits on election night.
Dear Keith Olbermann,
You're in the right. There's no need to be such a dickhead about it. I still like you because you're funny. Does your little sister always have to tag along.
Dear CNN,
Even though you're the most fair of the big three 24-hour news networks, you're horribly boring.
Dear Alabama,
I like it when you don't suck, but I hate it when you're doing this well. I hope you get the shits on election night.
Dear Ritalin,
Thanks for the ups. Damn you for the downs.
Dear New Orleans,
I'm coming home, Mama. I'm coming home. I've missed you terribly. I can't wait to show you off.
Dear ColdTowne,
Don't get jealous. I live with you. You get the last dance.
Dear Jimmy Buffet,
Hey dude! I almost forgot about you.
With love and respect,
Justin |
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| Life is About the Little Moments |
[Oct. 4th, 2008|01:41 pm] |
Driving yesterday on a beautiful October day.
Arthur bursts out laughing.
He saw a girl kick over a crucifix.
Thanks... um... God? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2008|12:44 am] |
I judged the Air Guitar finals tonight. Never have I been so comfortable in the spotlight. It came with an ease and enjoyability I can't describe.
Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't the best experience I've ever had in a spotlight. A huge part of what I love about improv is that I often don't feel comfortable. I get off on the idea that I don't know what's coming and I CAN'T prepare for what's coming.
With this Air Guitar competition, I felt like everything was in slow motion. I got a lot of reinforcement from the stage manager and from my fellow judge, Johnny Walker, who had a lot of experience. So all my initial doubts were stricken quickly. Ok, I'm gushing and rambling, so I am done now. But man oh man, that was good. It just felt natural... it felt... right.
Thank you. |
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| Also Needed: A hole in my head |
[Jul. 24th, 2008|02:43 pm] |
"From the Desk of Carol Mossy York
Dear Jus,
We love, love, loved seeing you last week!
I'm enclosing an early birthday or something [check]...
It does come with a little lecture, however. I'm so proud of what you've done with ColdTowne, but I do worry about your future - e.g. ability to pay bills, health insurance, blah blah, blah. Maybe, you ought to hedge your bet and get a more serious back-up job???
There, I said it.
I love you,
Mom" |
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| Dream another tedious boring-ass little dream |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|10:03 am] |
The clock is ticking. Gotta make that flight. I'm in luck; no line at the security check-in of the international gate at Atlanta-Hartsfield Airport. I put my ID and ticket in the dish and race through the metal detector. No time to grab them on the way out. I can come back. I just need to check on the flight status first to see if I have time to go grab my jacket that's somewhere on the free side of security. Heart pounding. Looking in each direction. An arm waves me into a room.
It's a classroom with a douchebag leading the discussion on orientation of international travel. "I like to keep everyone here until 2:00. Now, let's go around the room so each of you can tell the class your stupid [sic] story about how you got to travel OUT OF THE COUNTRY!"
Really? 20 minutes and only 2 stories later, I gotta run. No telling where my ID and ticket are. "Well, you can go check on that, but come straight back. I like to keep everyone here until 2:00."
Ughgh.
Seriously, what's up with my boring dreams? |
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| Decisions |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|05:07 pm] |
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I've made my share of bad decisions in my life. Likewise, I've made my share of good ones. Last night, I made one of the better ones: to watch "The Two Coreys". |
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| Joe Bless You |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|04:43 am] |
My dad worked really hard and still does. He often has mornings where he gets up at 3 or 4 to go to the hospital to deliver a baby and that’s just the start of his day. He was usually home by 5, just in time for dinner and then off to his room where he would nap until it was time for bed. It’s no dig on him as a father, but the fact is that he wasn’t around a whole lot. He was busy as a top-notch provider. I had to take care of a lot of the raising on my own. When I met other grown-ups, they always alluded to my dad as being the wild guy, the unpredictable one, and, above all, funny. It was a quality I really enjoyed being associated with. I appreciate the ‘work hard play hard’ lifestyle and mentality.
When I was twelve years old, I moved to the third floor of our house. My parents used to joke that I was in the CIA because they didn’t see me much after that. What was I doing up there? Up to no good? Well, a little. But mostly I was watching comedy on TV and reading about comedy and comedians. They were like philosophers to me. They taught me the way the world really works when you pull back the bullshit. They helped raise me… some more than others.
A year or two earlier, I was at the video store and my friends and I rented George Carlin’s “Playing with Your Head,” a stand-up showcase of his. I’d never seen anything like this hyperactive man in a queer lavender sweater who used names like Klaus and Wilhelm and I haven’t seen much to rival him since. His books opened my eyes to what comedy could be, like only Woody Allen’s had previously. I devoured all of his CDs, even the early “AM” years that were tame and not funny. He taught me that even rape could be funny in the right context.
In the summer of 1992 when I prayed that there was a God so I could punch him in his fucking face for stealing my dog, Gretal, only George Carlin was there to level with me and tell me the truth that religion is a racket. Question everything and everyone… even him. The only real ally is the truth.
I thought that had he died and the news never covered it, I wouldn’t have been affected. His influence on me, while strong, no longer relied on current material. His specials were further in between. The last two or three were not nearly as funny and came across as more angry diatribes than comedic pieces. The torch had been passed to others long ago. But I learned through different tributes to him that he was still working and writing. He was still advising comics. He was slipping ideas to people like Keith Olbermann on the condition that he not be credited.
He was still affecting me daily and I didn’t even realize it. My tears aren’t for a lost memory. They’re for a parent whose relationship with me changed as I grew up. Good bye. Apparently, I will miss you after all.
I hope there is a heaven, because he’s up there getting back all the stuff he ever lost and playing in the balloon room. As he suggested, since I’m not going to wake him up now, I’m going to have a moment of screaming for the dead. Joe bless you. |
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| The Great White (Over)Hype |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|05:15 pm] |
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I know there's been a WHOLE LOT of talk on the news, the internet and at water coolers throughout the country, but Scope White sucks. |
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| Sign o' the Times |
[Jun. 17th, 2008|06:58 pm] |
Just found out my girlfriend from high school is engaged. At one point, she was the love of my life and I honestly thought we'd be together forever... and not in that naive kid kind of way... I don't think.
I feel like I should be nostalgic or sad or something. Nope. Just happy for her.
Congrats, Jean. |
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| Clowns to the LEFT of me; Clowns to the RIGHT... |
[May. 31st, 2008|02:39 pm] |
It's interesting to me that my friends from New Orleans and my family view me as a bleeding-heart liberal and my friends from California and (I suspect) Austin view me as pretty conservative.
I guess if both sides disagree with me, I must be doing something right.
It reminds me of when I worked at The Tonight Show and part of my job was reading and responding to viewer mail and emails. Whenever Jay had Bill Maher on, we were flooded with complaints that Jay was pandering to the left and this was typical. Whenever Jay had Dennis Miller on, we were bombarded with complaints that Jay was truly showing his right-wing colors and this was just another in a long line of conservative values that he's supporting.
I hated both of these views and responded accordingly. But it was the lady I pissed off about a Catholic Priest joke that got me called into all the producers' offices who told me that they would have fired me had I not already put in my notice. Of everyone, they were actually correct... and that was the second of at least three times that my big mouth got me fired or almost fired.
I am who I am: Popeye! |
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| Did I say Dixie Carter? |
[May. 26th, 2008|10:40 pm] |
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I meant Adam Corolla. But just look at them. I hardly think this is MY faux pas. |
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| Most Stressful Night |
[May. 25th, 2008|03:47 am] |
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The Eve of Dixie Carter's birthday will always be stressful. What do I get her? Oh. |
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| Proof of God |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|02:04 am] |
Too strong a subject line? Absolutely. But I'm a big fan of eyecatching headlines.
Still, I'm amazed at how the world knows to correct itself at times. A very specific thing has had me very upset [no, actually NOT too strong a line] lately.
Tonight God/Nature/TheAlmightyWatchMaker/Whoever let me know that I'm not alone... I'm not wrong.... I just need to be more creative. When I figure out what that means for me, I'll let you know.
But either way, rebirth.
Yeah, I can make a post on LJ that doesn't make fun of LJ. Deal with it................ me.
Or am I? |
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| Improv Boner: Hard |
[Sep. 25th, 2007|09:58 am] |
In reverse order:
Had rehearsal for tentatively called Smoking Arm last night. It was frickin' awesome. Can't wait to play with each person. Good to be coached again. Great to work on the fundamentals. I've promised myself that I will push my limits, take bigger risks, get out of my comfort zone, let the awesomeness of everyone else affect me, and allow my own brand of awesome to emerge. We all had great moments and we all had struggling moments... but those struggling moments were growth and learning -- I could see it.
This weekend my parents came to town. I really only get nervous now when family or non-improv world friends are in the audience. I had a tiny bit of liquid encouragement, but not even tipsy. Just get-the-edge-offy. At the beginning of Stool Pigeon I held back a bit. I gave myself a mental pep talk and went for it. I still was more support than lead, but I chalk it up to a good show for me and a great show overall. ColdTowne show was even better. Although I was aware they were in the audience, I overcame.
I didn't get enthusiastic accolades from them... in fact, they sort of avoided the topic. Yes, this bugged me a bit. But overall, my attitude was "this is what I'm doing and, though I do seek approval from you, it's not going to hurt too badly if I don't get it." I actually think they did enjoy it and they are proud of me, but we're not a family that's very good at expressing.... anything.
Boner: intact. |
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| Walking Dead |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|10:59 am] |
I wish whoever came up with weekends made them 3 days instead of 2. Or maybe whoever came up with weeks made them 8 days long with a 3 day weekend.
Bottom line: TIRED!
Haven't gotten a good night sleep in I don't know how long. Last night I could barely keep my eyes open through good shows. I took some 5-Hour energy and a half an adderall, but they just kept my mind awake; my body was whipped. It also prevented me from getting to sleep until about 3:30. I wake up at 7. Totally dragging ass right now with no end in sight.
Want to get TABC certified, but looking at my calendar, it's a minimum of 2 weeks before I can string 3 hours together without significantly sacrificing sleep or theater stuff. I don't know how long I can continue to burn this candle at both ends.
Strong-ass coffee is just making me jittery and nauseous.
Still, I like my life better than any alternative within my control.
Still.... |
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| Enslave that Bitch |
[Sep. 19th, 2007|10:23 am] |
Last night I saw a truly wonderful sight.
Since the level 1 class is pretty big, we decided to cut it in half for the first hour -- Tami taching one half and me teaching the other half -- then joining them up for the second hour.
The first part of wonderful was how good this new class is after only two previous classes.
For the second half of the class, I decided to stick around. Tami had them run scenes for about 45 minutes then gave notes. The second part of wonderful was Tami giving the notes. Although I interjected with some notes of my own, the enthusiasm and the command and her unique way of connecting with newbies was awe inspiring. It was somehow nurturing without being condescending and direct without being off-putting. I almost feel badly for the people who missed out on her in the first hour.
Everyone's introduction to improv should be so fantastic. I want to tie her to a pole and make sure she teaches every level 1 to come through the ColdTowne Conservatory.
Looking forward to next week already. |
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| Hung Over |
[Sep. 11th, 2007|09:22 am] |
Last night was the first night in what seems like months that I didn't have anything to drink. Yet, I feel worse today than I have in a while. I think I understand cutting.
"Gee I'm Glad it's Raining" - Earnest |
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